Getting ourselves lost

Certain things amaze me about Abraham. I'm reading through Genesis right now--it has been wonderfully touching to my life because I find myself in a period of...uncertainty, relying simply on the promise of God. Namely with my future.

1. That he GOT UP AND LEFT
really, I think a lot of us as believers hope that God will show up in a dream or in freaking real life and tell us exactly what to do. I don't know how, but some how he told Abram to leave everything he's known in a way that Abram immeadiately trusted.
I find myself on the brink of the same question: where to go, Lord? what to do with my life?
And I see Him seek Abram, whom he chose, and tell him where to go--not the whole story, literally just the next step.

2. That he didn't trust the Lord to protect him when he went to foreign lands
Homeboy is on a mission from God and forgets that God will be with him wherever he goes. Twice he lies and says Sara is his sister, not only allowing the rulers to 'take her for their own,' but doing so in order to save his own life. This is a perfect picture of my life, of our lives. We trust the Lord with our salvation, but can't trust Him to get us through the day. Many times I consciously chose to help myself--whether that be by sleeping less, studying instead of meeting with Him, buying healthy food instead of giving a panhandler my change--just like Abram did when he left God's land because of a famine. Genesis says, "the famine was so severe that..." So severe. Literally foodless, Abram may have given up on the Lord's provision. Maybe he got so caught up in the day to day menialities of life, that he didn't even consider asking God for help. Maybe he thought that God was too busy preparing the far future (aka his promised son) that He didn't care what happened in the meantime (or that He had no plan for the meantime). Whatever it was, we can see that the moment Abram slipped himself off of God's track, things did not go well for him. At all.

It reassures me to know not only that God has a plan for every step of my life (I've seen the evidence before) but also that it is possible to screw up (because that means that everytime I was not at peak joy, it was not God punishing me, or leaving me, or ignoring me. It was me pushing out of His arms like a child wanting to walk. Squirming one direction then right back to him, unable to make up my mind.) Always always always, the words of Paul come back to me: For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.

about to start design--I really don't feel like doing this...