Who'da Thunk?

I miss Berlin. I miss the feel of Germany, the sounds and crosswalks and mannerisms of its public. I miss the taste of the air and the touching memorials and the confrontation of the past. I miss its hidden pockets of twinkle-light lit restaraunts. I miss seeing the river everyday and the Strandbars on its banks. I miss the additude. I miss my lack of responsibility yes, but I was just flipping through a book and landed on a page about the Memorial to Murdered Jews of Europe. My heart pulled apart for an instant, and I just pressed the picture to my chest. Remember this. You were here once. You stood beneath that tree, parked your bike and touched the hundreds of stones. You made your own path through those blocks just as the architect intended.

I didn't think, remember how fun that was? Remember all the food you ate and the times you laughed and how often you were lost? Remember your friends? No, that came later. At the moment all I felt was heartache.

Getting ourselves lost

Certain things amaze me about Abraham. I'm reading through Genesis right now--it has been wonderfully touching to my life because I find myself in a period of...uncertainty, relying simply on the promise of God. Namely with my future.

1. That he GOT UP AND LEFT
really, I think a lot of us as believers hope that God will show up in a dream or in freaking real life and tell us exactly what to do. I don't know how, but some how he told Abram to leave everything he's known in a way that Abram immeadiately trusted.
I find myself on the brink of the same question: where to go, Lord? what to do with my life?
And I see Him seek Abram, whom he chose, and tell him where to go--not the whole story, literally just the next step.

2. That he didn't trust the Lord to protect him when he went to foreign lands
Homeboy is on a mission from God and forgets that God will be with him wherever he goes. Twice he lies and says Sara is his sister, not only allowing the rulers to 'take her for their own,' but doing so in order to save his own life. This is a perfect picture of my life, of our lives. We trust the Lord with our salvation, but can't trust Him to get us through the day. Many times I consciously chose to help myself--whether that be by sleeping less, studying instead of meeting with Him, buying healthy food instead of giving a panhandler my change--just like Abram did when he left God's land because of a famine. Genesis says, "the famine was so severe that..." So severe. Literally foodless, Abram may have given up on the Lord's provision. Maybe he got so caught up in the day to day menialities of life, that he didn't even consider asking God for help. Maybe he thought that God was too busy preparing the far future (aka his promised son) that He didn't care what happened in the meantime (or that He had no plan for the meantime). Whatever it was, we can see that the moment Abram slipped himself off of God's track, things did not go well for him. At all.

It reassures me to know not only that God has a plan for every step of my life (I've seen the evidence before) but also that it is possible to screw up (because that means that everytime I was not at peak joy, it was not God punishing me, or leaving me, or ignoring me. It was me pushing out of His arms like a child wanting to walk. Squirming one direction then right back to him, unable to make up my mind.) Always always always, the words of Paul come back to me: For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.

about to start design--I really don't feel like doing this...

back at the ranch

I am no longer in Berlin...hopefully you know that...but I like the idea of having something to write. Life is always worth remembering, and as my friends begin to talk concretely about their futures, I find myself wanting to record everything I can. I like knowing no one knows I'm writting anymore--takes the pressure off eloquency and consistency. If you are reading, get ready for intermittent word vomits on everything I notice. This will not be pretty, or funny or congruent. It will be my heart and my brain-my freaking life-an outlet for my thoughts that I will treat selfishly and honestly. So please enjoy if you want, but know this isn't for you. This is for me.

I have thoughts of starting a project that I can record on this blog-like losing weight, training for a marathon, writting a novel or short story-but for now, I will just write...get the juices flowing, as they say.

I'm studying with Amanda now-as you can tell. The firemarshall just came in and said the coffee shop is too full. Now he's counting heads to decide who gets to stay. A woman with a dog is refusing to leave, typical. A man is standing waiting for his coffee, also refusing to leave. We're leaving...

"We're the richest country in the WORLD!!"

Where did I leave off???


OSLO WAS INCREDIBLE!!! Better then I could have imagined--We probably shouldn't have gone because now I know it exists and can't imagine anything as good.

Sarah, Bethany and I found tickets for 60€ round trip to the most expensive city in the world, and jumped on them. Bethany has a friend that lives there so we had high hopes for an authentic Norweigen stay... Type Oslo, Norway into google and look at the pictures--when we found the tickets we didn't know where Oslo was. When we saw the pictures we couldn't sleep until we'd been there.


We arrived by plane at midnight on Friday with our backpacks stuffed with food and underwear-tuna, crackers and apples for dirt cheap lunches. After getting there I realized I didn't pack anything with long sleeves so I was a little chilly at night...

The moment we stepped out into the street, our jaws were dropped, our eyes wide, and our feet hovering three feet off the ground. There were still traces of the sunset on the midnight horizon--it was taking a short rest before rising again at 3am.

We woke the next morning to 65 degrees and sunny. A children's choir lead us through the town to the Warf where we hopped on a ferry to the Museum Island. We saw hours of folk art and Viking ships and picnicked in a recreated 1600's Norwiegen village. Heaven. Then Beth's friend grabbed us and took us to the ski jump to see the city. Amazing. Fjords and farms and hills in every direction...

Norwiegens spend as many hours outdoors as they can so of course we bought a ''one time grill''---the best invention ever-- and sat in a park grilling hot dogs with her friends. Young people were everywhere in the park, all with these little tin foil pie pans filled with charcoal. Then her friends took us out--they were all so friendly and easy to talk to and happy. The three of us didn't pay for a single thing all weekend because the locals took care of us...Hot dogs at the stands were $10. No exageration. A cooking magazine I picked up was $24. We girls stayed up until 5am talking in our hotel room after that--the sun was up and I was in heaven.


Sunday we went on a hike with Bethany's friend--because that's what you do on Sundays--and the view from the top of the mountain was unbelievable. Farms, Fjords, boats, houses, rolling green hills, blue skies and fluffy clouds--all at 65 degrees and sunny still. It was the worst thing to leave after such a short, perfect stay, but we finally made our way back to the airport...

Have you ever heard Norwiegen?? Not to overkill, but it is breathtaking. The language has so many extra vowels that the words strung together sound like joyful song lyrics. Everyone sang a melody as they joked with each other or debated the names of berries or described old memories. I had no idea.

Now I have two days of classes left and four more until Mere, Chris, Martin, Kayla and Brian get here!! I can't wait to see them, and I can't wait to come home. Berlin is wonderful and this has been an amazing month. I've learned so much...about myself, about the world, about the Lord...and I love the friends I've made. This isn't the last blog, but I'm getting ready to say goodbye to a lot of people I've grown to close to and it feels like the end of something grand. I can't wait to see you all, two weeks actually sounds like a long time, but if a month went by this quickly, two weeks will be a blink.

I'm Alive!!

I have to leave soon--but I though I'd let you know I'm still here--just without much internet access. Last week flew by--it was filled with naps in the beautiful Tiergarten, frisbee, site seeing and getting lost a bit. I've now seen most things on my list, and will tell you about them later--I love you still. Thanks for your patience!!!

PS this weekend is OSLO!!!!!!

Far and away...

Oh my goodness, I wish this internet cafe would let me upload pictures because Prauge gave us some good ones!

Dear Praha,
I know you are newly democratic and beautiful, but must you be so difficult?
I will return to you because your ridiculousness made me laugh, and your story made me cry.
Please tell Policewoman Yeatna ahoy for me!
Sincerely,
Blair

So Prauge was a great weekend trip--the 7 CEA students and Radka our leader set off at noon on a rainy Friday for a 5 hour train ride--well, 6 of us, Bethany forgot her passport and had to wait for the next train.

Josh and I were in a car that we shared with various other numbers of people. For a while I got to lay across three seats because there was no one on my side, but when I wasn't sleeping I was staring at the BEAUTIFUL German countryside, complete with cottages, castles on hills and senic rivers.

The moment we stepped off the train we all realized how little we all knew Czech, and by little I mean nothing, and realized how western Berlin was. The first night we went to a bbq (yes bbq-sausage and chicken) and it the heavens unleashed their fury...leaving as drowned rats, we intended to go out with the students we had just met, but after running 5 blocks in the rain in a foreign country where we didn't have any money or map, we decided to go back to the apt and have some girl time. We spent most of it at a KFC laughing about arm cannons and mashed potato flakes :)

Saturday was nicer--AND COLD! I'd sweat everyday in Berlin in shorts and finally we could wear jeans!! We spent the morning getting a personal tour ala Radka (she lives in Prauge and knows eveything) through the CASTLE DISTRICT--which every city should have. Prauge was beautiful (even in the rain). The buildings are all connected so it's a continuous line of springtime painted facades and sunset colored roofs along the winding river. After the castle district and some lunch (I got perch) we found our way to souveniers, coffee and hiking. There is a mini eiffel tower at the top of the hill in Prauge that you can climb up to the top of for a spectacular view, and it was worth the climb. Prauge is so hilly and green, but also dense and dirty like you expect in Europe. From the top we could practically see Berlin!

At the base of the tower there was in fact a marbles tournament taking place, so naturally we were facinated and watched a 7 year old beat a 35 year old man. Yes, I made a spectacle of myself cheering for him, but that's beside the point.

On the way back to our apt, we got into a bit of a jam---you see in Praha, there is an underground rail called the train and an overground rail called the tram. We had been buying the cheapest tickets all day which only last 30min at a time, and the only place to buy them is at the train. We needed to take the tram. Mind you, our group of 7 has been without Radka since lunch, and we can't even remember how to say thank you in Czech. So we turn to each other and decide that we'll just have to ride the tram without a valid ticket since we're taking the tram to the train and it's probably not that big of a deal. It's a big deal.

So we're riding along, halfway to our stop and a lady dressed in civlian clothing comes up beside me and shows me a badge. A man begins to do the same thing at the front. "Tickets," they say in a monotone voice and immediately I search my pockets and hand her every ticket we have bought this weekend. Everyone in our group is on their feet, everyone is talking, no one has tickets. They ask for our passports (which THANKFULLY we all happened to have on us instead of safely in the apartment) "Americans," the woman says to the man. (and I know what some of you are thinking--why would you ever give your passport to a stranger? are you an absolute idiot? Don't you know it always helps to defy the police as long as possible whether you believe them or not? Especially in a foreign country where you have to pay extra for toilet paper in the bathrooms) Yes, obstinance is always helpful... Anyway, Kevin, Kari and I handed them our passports while some of our group jumped off the train unscratched. The woman turned to me and said, "700 Crowns." I almost freaked out, but then I realized that's about $35. Of course

Kevin and I didn't have that much cash on us so we rode with our kind escorts to an atm--in the train station we were headed to--but the ATM was closed. After some awkward moments of both parties staring at each other and me hoping they would let us off with a stern warning, Kevin offered them his Euros and they said they would accept that.

We all apologized to each other and Kevin and I rejoined the group, defeated but nearly in tears with laughter. Thankfully no one was upset by the ordeal and we went on with a funny memory...

That night we got pizza in the Old Town square and went out dancing until the wee hours. The rain held off until we left the next day and after seeing the Museum of Communism (which was really touching because Radka was 8 when the swtich happend and remembers key things about the communist lifestyle), we boarded the train and laughed and walked and read our way home.

Being back in Berlin was a wonderful thing--especially the sweet, familiar language--and made me really realize how much of the city I have yet to explore. I thought 3 more weeks would seem like an eternity, but I'm glad I have just enough left.

Today, Bethany (Joy, she reminds me a lot of you), Kevin and I got some various wursts and lounged in the Tiergarten (the HUGE park) all afternoon. The weather is staring to cool down and it was an absolutely beautiful day. Here's to many more!

I love you still!!! Hugs and kisses!

Ich bin...

Oh my goodness it took a while to remember how to add a post to this thing...Halo! Ich lehrne groß Deutsch---except that's not a real sentence at all--but I am learing German! My class of 15 is so sweet because we're all the beginners in a sea of proficients. Meine Lehernin, Frau Annette, ist super! She is patient and uses a lot of sign language when she speaks.

1. A typical day in Berlin für Blair is as follows:
   This is mandatory--Wake up later then planned (7.30) and decide between breakfast or showering...
2. Hop on the U-Bahn with about 20 classmates (unless #1 went too well) and transfer until it drops us off near school.
3. Fumble through Deutschkurs A1 with much needed short breaks from 9-13:30 (Mace, they use military time) then walk to the Mensa for a cheap lunch with everyone
4. 15:30-21:00 explore the city with any new friends.
5. Get some dinner around 9pm, whether that be Jogurt und Granola oder the best Turkish food in Krezburg.
6. Head home after the sun goes down, do homework, decide between sleep and shower, go to bed later than planned
   It has been great, the weekend starts tomorrow!
   

Food I like from Berlin:

• Cappuccinos mit milche...
• Crepes mit Nutella
• Imam
• Brotwurst in a bun (I think...I actually just pointed to what a girl in front of me got)
• Ice cream--their ice cream is soooo good!
• Dönner
• Pork with cheese and bread--actually I didn't really like it, I just realized I haven't eatten very much stereotypical German food...
• The veggie patty I just ate in the cafeteria
  
  There is also a legit burrito place that I will try before I leave...
  

Yesterday, some of us went to the East Side Gallery, which is the longest strip of remaining wall in the city. The city comissioned artists to paint on it and it. is. powerful. It is a 12 ft high wall the length of two city blocks with beautiful artwork about freedom on it. The wall fell on August 13th at 11pm because at 8pm a dioplat on a tv interview said he thought it would be possible to one day cross freely from east to west. The people watching assumed that meant it was crossable right then, so they rushed to the wall. When the guards had to choose between killing the people and giving up the fight, they gave up and the people literally broke the wall the the ground. It brought tears to my eyes to imagine the young and old pouring over the top and pushing through the bricks to freedom for the first time in 30 years-- like taking a gulp of fresh air when you've been stuck at the bottom of the ocean.

I think I will head to the Tiergarten now and walk around the forest...the many sandy river-beaches are on the list too. Berlin not only has the coolest builgings (especially the newer government buidings), but beautiful parks and gardens as well. The time passes so quickly, that I will miss meals without a second thought--and you know that's rare.

So here's to SORE legs and expensive water in an airconditioning-less city! I love it more than I thought, and am glad I have a month to get to know it. My study abroad group (CEA) is going to Prauge tomorrow for the weekend, so I won't be able to write until I get back, but I love you!

I'll load pictures when I get back :) look it up online for now

German lesson for the day: Woher kommst du? Ich komme aus die USA.